host
email
older
newest
about
notes

last five entries
Sadness - 2016-01-21
eric - 2012-03-13
is anybody still out there? - 2011-12-23
letters sent - 2011-10-27
Rights - 2011-10-25

2011-10-25 - 11:39 a.m.


I find it interesting that my dland buddy list has a dozen diarys on it and only one has been updated and that one was 36 days ago. It makes me wonder about those of us who write here.

Is this it just a 'faze' we go through. Is this a place we come when we want to put our thoughts out for strangers to read and comment on?

Or, is it the fact that dland policy changed so that the only way to get comments is to join at a pay level? Are we all really so much about feedback that we stop writing if we aren't getting talk back?

Anyway, this is a place I come to communicate to a group of dedicated readers who mostly don't write here. I have been away for awhile and I'm not sure how many are still checking.

I wonder what my rights as a human are.

I do believe I have the right to be happy. I do believe I have the right to screw up my life if I wish.

The question is whether I have the right to do things in the persuit of happiness or while screwing up my own life that will affect others.

Do I have the right to distroy the warden's dreams? To pile on one more stressor, and a big one at that, during a time when both her parents are failing?

Do I have the right to screw up my friend's life because she is trying to make time for me while still trying to manage her own life? She has had her electricity turned off because she forgot to pay a bill, she has missed deadlines and is falling behind in work duties that she used to do at home. All this while being involved in a relationship that bothers her. She is torn. She believes she loves me but also feels bad that she is dating a married man and has to hide our relationship from everyone. She can't explain to her mother that she isn't coming to visit this weekend because she is spending time with her boyfriend because she can't admit that she has a boyfriend.

It just makes me wonder if I can really be so self centered as to distroy the lives of others (I haven't even written about how this would effect the kids) ?

Ok, I suppose this is just 'cold feet' from getting close and ready to 'pull the trigger', especially when it really does feel like pulling a trigger.

previous - next

all words copyright 2004 ohswim
page fix-up by onewetleg