last five entries
Sadness - 2016-01-21
eric - 2012-03-13
is anybody still out there? - 2011-12-23
letters sent - 2011-10-27
Rights - 2011-10-25

2016-01-21 - 9:29 p.m.

Such a long time since my last entry and don't know if anyone still even knows this is here.

But it is here and is a place to write so I am back.

Tonight I am sad.

I reached out to co-workers of 28 years duration to see about reconnecting. All the right words were said (that is texted) but the message I heard was 'you left, we are not interested in talking to you any more'

Now maybe its the multiple glasses of malbec, but I had thought that I was more than just a boss to them, especially Patti, who I reached out to.

Now I'm feeling like they only put up with me because i WAS the boss. Now that I have left, they don't HAVE to deal with me and would rather not.

That is a terrible way to feel.

I really to like the people at my new job but now have to wonder if the interactions with them that I enjoy so much are all false. Are they just being nice because I'm their boss?

That would really suck.

Another glass of Malbec in and the bottle is reaching empty. At this rate, going to work tomorrow will be a problem.

I know some of my sadness and melancholy is due to the alcohol, but I truly don't care. It's like I want to slowly get drunk.

Ok, so what I'm going to do is stop this now. In the morning, when my head is clear, I will reread the text string and see if it says what I think it is saying now. I suspect it will not. (Isn't denial and wonderful thing).

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